Friday, August 14, 2015

End of Summer Blues

As the last week of summer approaches and I am drowning in before school stress, time crunch on organization and the process of moving out of one living space into another, I have been filled with thankfulness for all this summer has given to me. I have experienced and learned so many things in the past three months that will be with me forever.

I’ve learned that independence is a gift some people can’t easily receive.
This summer allowed me to transition from depending on my mom for money to slowly becoming financially independent. I have ran into many money obstacles this summer and in the midst of utter chaos I was taught how to be wise with spending. The biggest blessing I have yet to receive in my life was the opportunity to live in a home for free… No rent. This opportunity not only helped me reach my savings goal but has also softened my heart and humbled me in ways I can’t express. Working two jobs, maintaining a healthy lifestyle and trying to keep myself sane during times of loneliness are things that I never would have thought would be blessings. Every time I went home I saw people that would be so far deep in their mess that they really don’t know how to escape it. They just can’t seem to get out of their parents house which can be such a struggle for some people and I realized that it is difficult to grow up fast but it is also the best thing that could happen to me! The challenges I’ve faced this summer were not impossible to overcome, which has given me a confidence in myself that I’ve never had before.

Living four hours away from my friends and family that I have spent my whole life with was not as hard as I anticipated. Of course my heart would start to break and I would ache to be with the people I love but that was a sign that I just needed to take a quick visit. I have come to the realization, as hard as it was for me to understand, that everything is changing. My relationships, friendships and lifestyle will constantly be changing and as difficult and strange as it gets, I have to be okay with that! When you put your entire heart and soul into people that are going to change it only leaves you dry and empty, no matter how much you love them. Letting go of anyone has always been a struggle for me. It’s one of my downfalls that I have had to come face to face with many times in my life and it has never been an easy process. This summer has taught me that God has given me specific people that I won’t have to let go of but our relationship will never be what it once was. No matter where I’m at in life there are friends I can call that will always answer. I have become so reliant on God and His plan for me that letting go has become easier on my heart.

All the fears that tried to follow me over this summer have been defeated solely by the experiences I’ve had living in Denton and becoming so independent. A verse that I have probably seen before but I read in a different light came across me the other day… “but perfect love casts out fear” 1 John 4:18.

I hope each summer for the years to come will help me overcome any fear of mine. I’m overwhelmed with the amount of blessings I’ve received in people, events and out of God’s love. I’m ready to take on this semester with a new head on my shoulders.